How to marry a rich man, part 1 (angel edition)

Practically everyone who wants to marry a man also wants to marry a rich man. Most just don’t to admit it out loud. Even if you value true love over riches, who wouldn’t prefer true love and riches. He’s called Prince Charming, not Pauper Charming, for a reason. So let’s tackle this question that’s on the mind of single ladies everywhere. How do you marry a rich man? This is the first in a multi-part series on how to marry a rich man.

How to marry a rich man: ground rules

Angels and devils

Before we go any further, we’re going to have to establish some ground rules because everyone is different. Some ladies will only play nice. For others, all’s fair in love and war. Of course, everyone has her romantic preferences as well. We can’t possibly cover every situations, so we won’t try to. Instead, we will cover two polar opposite strategies, which we’ll call the angel strategy and the devil strategy.

We are not in the business of judging anyone. Nor are we in the business of being hypocritical. This is the internet, and we can honestly indulge in whatever we truly think. Eat those chocolates if you like, girl, ‘cuz no one will ever know.

We are serious

Part of the reason we are starting this series on how to marry a rich man is that we could not find any useful advice anywhere online. When searching around, all we found were a bunch of promotional spam sites telling you how to supposedly meet millionaires or single rich men. Or a bunch of “guru” women trying to sell you the latest informercial on how to be a sugar baby. Whatever.

We want to keep this real and serious. We will take a hard look at how to marry a rich man, and that means sometimes getting uncomfortably upfront and honest. That’s part of the reason we want to look at this question from the so-called angel and devil angels. So there will be absolutely no promotion of the latest 50-page ebook on how to marry rich men. If you find that here, reach through the internet and slap us silly in the comments below.

Actionable advice

We aren’t going tell you how to find your inner spirit dragon or some warm fuzzy feeling about how to go about meeting rich men. We also don’t want to give useless generic advice about going to bars near banks or any nonsense like that. Instead, we want to look at the question from a realistic angle with steps you can take to increase your chances of success. We can’t possibly guarantee that you will marry a rich man, but we hope that if you take our advice you might have a much higher chance to do so.

That brings us back to the main point, which is we want you to implement the actions we discuss. Throughout, then, we are thinking about what is practical for many women. That rules out very specialized advice that is irrelevant for most. And while you can read these articles purely for entertainment… do consider trying out some of the tips.

Our goal: a worthwhile journey

Our goal, then, is to provide examples of realistic paths a woman might take to increase her chances of marrying a rich husband. If we succeed, one of you readers out there might come back with a success story and make a generous donation to this website out of sincere gratitude. Right? At least that’s what we are hoping.

More importantly, we want to give advice that will let you enjoy your journey even if you fail to snag your millionaire in the end. If you become an even more awesome or interesting person in the pursuit of a wealthy husband, isn’t the journey worth it?

If nothing else, let’s have some fun, and as we said above, create a worthwhile journey while trying to figure out how to marry a rich man.

Defining a rich man

Regardless of how you intend to pursue your well-moneyed target, we still need to decide who exactly we are calling “rich”.  It’s time to start crunching some numbers. Don’t worry if math is not your favorite subject. You don’t need to be a whiz, but if you really want to marry a rich man, you’ll need to be able to count his money!

How rich is rich?

Who exactly qualifies as rich? It’s all about perspective, but to give us a starting point, we’ll take a middle-of-the-road view. Billionaires are certainly good, but the US only has about 500 billionaires total (source: forbes.com). We don’t like those odds. On the other hand, there are 8,000,000-15,000,000 American millionaires depending on who you ask (source: wikipedia.com). That’s almost 1 in 20 adults! Now, it’s true that a millionaire isn’t quite what it used to be, especially in expensive cities like San Francisco and New York, but a million dollars still isn’t too bad.

If we are talking about multimillionaires worth 30 million or more, also call ultra high-net-worth-individuals (HNWIs), the US has about 100,000 of them. This is definitely pretty rich by most reasonable standards. So we think a reasonable target to shoot for is a couple million dollars. But that brings us to the next point. What does a million dollars actually mean?

When a millionaire doesn’t have a million dollars

Financial institutions calculate an individual’s net worth in different ways. If someone owns a million dollar home, they may technically be a millionaire by some definitions but not actually have much cash lying around to spend. Likewise, if they own 10 sports cars, but have a giant mortgage, he could actually be living paycheck to paycheck.

On the other hand, someone with a million dollars worth of working capital is rich enough to invest a million dollars cash into the next startup company. This person is actually rich. He has money to throw around, invest, or do whatever he wants.

When we say we are looking for a guy with a few million dollars to his name, we should specify that we want the money to be mostly liquid, like in cash or stocks, and not in his home. Owning a bunch of prime real estate as an investment or rental property counts fine. We just don’t want to count his home, car, or other fake “assets” that really do you no good.

How to tell if a man is rich

If we know, at least on paper, what kind of man we’re trying to marry, how do we tell if someone we meet fits the criteria? How can you tell if a guy is actually rich or not?

The two types of rich men

For our initial purposes, there are only two kinds of rich guys:

1. The ones that tell you that they are rich.
2. The ones that don’t tell you.

Type 1 is pretty easy to figure out. Yes, they wear the watches, drive the cars (or have a driver), post pictures of expensive getaways on Instagram. Some just tell you upfront that they are loaded. Type 2 is more difficult. All those silly articles from Cosmopolitan and Vogue give you tips on how to identify Type 1. Well, duh, it’s not that hard.

We are going to make a choice here and suggest that you target Type 2. First of all, since everyone knows that Type 1 is rich, you have more competition. Plus, the reasons Type 1 flaunts his money aren’t always conducive for marriage. Remember, we are trying to learn how to marry a rich man, not bed him or date him.

How to tell if a guy is rich if he won’t tell you

Let’s focus on Type 2’s, then. By letting all the women who can’t see past the surface chase the Type 1’s, we’ve already cut down the competition and boosted our own odds. If a Type 2 won’t reveal his wealth, how can we figure out that he is wealthy? Here are some clues.

For men with company jobs

Someone with a well-paying job in mid or upper management and sound finances can usually hit the multimillionaire mark. Asking where a man works, or what he does for a living, is a pretty routine opening line. If gives you a business card or has a LinkedIn account, you can find his exact title and organization name. Go to the website Glassdoor.com and you can find out how much he makes. This website was originally to help people negotiate salaries when searching for a new job, but it also comes in handy to find out how much money someone makes. If the company is not listed, look for similar companies in the same city.

A salary of $100,000 a year is a bit low, unless he has been working for 10 or more years and saved up serious investments. Salaries of $200,000-$300,000 (including all bonuses and options) are on the right track.

For men with vague or mysterious jobs

If you can’t quite tell what a guy does for a living, it could be a good or bad sign. He could be a bum still living in his mom’s basement. Or he could be independently wealthy. You have to use sleuthing skills.

For example, someone who is a successful day trader of stocks is not going to go around announcing it to the world. By the same token, anyone who brags about his investments is almost certainly not rich. Does he just mention that he is into investments or financial management but never go into details? That could be a good or bad sign. Do you ever see him discussing financial strategies at a high technical level? Can you tell what topics really interest him?

As another example, maybe you meet a guy who teaches an occasional history class at the local community college. Now, ordinarily, this would put him solidly into the pitifully broke category. However, does he still live in an expensive part of town, go on frequent vacations around the world, or dress much too nicely for his job? He might just have a whole bunch of money and be living the good life.

Small business owners

Many wealth men who worked for their money own small businesses. This could be anything from a local music shop to a cleaning service. When a well-heeled guy tells you that he is in the laundry business, does he mean he owns a company or that he irons shirts for a living? If it is the former, don’t be put off by what seems like an un-sexy occupation. Successful small business owners are usually comfortably rich.

You can try to figure out how much his business is worth if you do the appropriate market research. Here’s a much cruder simplification. How large is his company? Say he has 10 full-time employees. Maybe each employee has a salary of $50,000 plus insurance and benefits, as well as costs for training, uniforms, or other supplies. Roughly speaking, then, each employee costs about $100,000 per year. That means he is paying out 1 million dollars a year to others.

Add on the cost of rent and supplies, and his cost of doing business could easily be 2-3 million dollars a year. That means his annual revenue must be higher, say 3-4 million. How much of that goes into his pocket? We don’t know, but has his company been around for a good number of years? A reliable business with a couple million in revenue every year is no joke. This guy is rich.

Other signs that a guy is possibly rich

We’ve focused mostly on jobs and salary until now. There are other signs to look out for to alert you to possible money, regardless of job position. Remember, we are talking about Type 2’s.

Good manners

Some rich men born with silver spoons turn into spoiled playboys. At the same time, many wealthier families put a stronger emphasis on good breeding and manners. Someone who seems quite polished and polite, despite looking fairly plain in appearances, may come from a well-to-do family. They could also just have really great parents, so look for a combination with these other signs.

Ease in high-end social occasions

Many college boys don’t even know how to tie a tie. Young men are often clueless when it comes to dressing up for their friend’s wedding or some awards ceremony.

Not so for most men raised in rich families. He will likely be at ease, not just dressing up for such occasions, but also hanging out at events. He won’t be tugging at his tie uncomfortably, or keep checking that his shirt hasn’t come untucked. Dressing nicely and making polite conversation is nothing out of the ordinary.

Self-assured confidence

Rich men are often much more confident than other men in what would usually be a stressful situation. Perhaps an extra tough exam is coming up in a university class. It’s okay. Even if he doesn’t get an A, he is set for life, right? Similarly, later in life, maybe he will start up a speculative business venture or join a startup company. Everyone else is worried about keeping his family fed. Meanwhile, he’s doing it for the experience or fun.

If someone seems eerily calm and confident when everyone else is panicking, he might get that confidence from know that there is really no risk for him. His wealth is a backup plan for everything.

Disregard for prices

This one is a dead giveaway. If the man under question doesn’t seem to ever think about prices, he has likely been rich his entire life. At restaurants, he won’t bother to check the price on the menu. He might sign receipts without ever checking it is the right one.

If you ever see him at a grocery store or department store, he just adds things to his cart without looking for sales or cheaper prices. He probably doesn’t know the typical price of his internet plan, groceries, gas, or whatever he typically pays. It’s all trivial too him.

On the flip side, if a man obsesses over costs, that does not mean he is poor. Many rich men are misers, or at least extremely financially conscious. Self-made millionaires or those that came up from poorer families are often quite the penny pinchers.

Found your rich man?

As you broaden your horizons and learn how to spot rich men, you should realize that there are actually a good number of them out there and possibly within your social sphere already. Up until now, the angel and devil strategies have been identical, as we are only dealing with general definitions. From here on out, we will diverge and start first with the angel strategy.

How to marry a rich man: Angel Edition

Now that we’ve gotten the basic rules and terms out of the way, let’s start with what we’re calling the angel strategy. We don’t believe that this strategy is necessarily morally upright or superior. But if you had an angel and devil sitting on your shoulder, most of what we will talk about in the angel strategy will be what your little angel might preach. The action you would take are things that most women would have no problem talking about publicly. We don’t need to dwell on definitions, though. You know what we mean, or you’ll find out soon enough.

Choosing the right rich man

The first step in learning how to marry a rich man is finding out who is rich and who is not. That still doesn’t narrow it down much. There are so many different kinds of rich men. Also, different kinds of single rich men will hang out in different places. They will also require different strategies. Which ones should you target?

We already ruled out the Type 1’s. This includes a lot of different categories. Cross off sports stars or Hollywood actors. First, the odds are terrible. There are only about 500 NBA players. You have practically the same odds with billionaires! Second, everyone else is after them too. There are professionals trying to become every celebrity’s next baby-mama complete with paternity checks. You don’t stand a chance next to them.

Type 1’s also include Wall Street bankers and even most doctors. After marrying a millionaire, marrying a doctor might be the next best thing, and everyone already knows that too. If you really want to go medical, consider a dentist or chiropractor who is a partner at a large clinic with his name on the building. If you’re wondering whether a chiropractor is a doctor, that’s good, because so is the rest of the competition. Partners for both professions can hit nearly $200,000.

How else should we pick the right rich man?

Inheritance versus self-made money

When people talk about old money and new money, the former means things like the Rockefellers, Hiltons, or Kennedys, while the latter can mean dot com millionaires or successful businessmen.

For our angel strategy, we recommend that you target self-made money, or money that is only one generation old, i.e. the parents are self-made. One reason is that there are simply more of them. However, there are also a lot of other reasons to try.

If you are reading this, chances are you are not rich yourself. That means you don’t move in the same circles as rich people, and certainly not in the same circles as rich inheritances. While Cinderella or Pretty Woman stories are nice to read about, they are rare and unlikely. The sugar baby tabloids all give the same advice. Sign up for charities or work at fancy hotels to try to rub shoulders with rich men. This doesn’t actually work out very well. Again, people from rich inheritances are brought up to expect and fend off gold diggers. They can be quite savvy, and some will lead along a string of women because, quite frankly, they can. Even if the man himself can be somewhat gullible, you can bet that his friends and parents will be impossible to win over.

Inherited money also comes with its own values and culture, which might not exactly overlap with yours. Do you know much about private jets and yachting or overnight shopping sprees in Paris? That’s nice to fantasize about, but we’re trying to be realistic about how to marry a rich man.

The real key on how to marry a rich man

We recommend that you go after new money, because here’s the real key on how to marry a rich man. You marry a rich man the same way that you would marry any other man. Sounds obvious, but many women don’t get this.

You would ordinarily marry a man because you love each other, have common interests, learn to give and take, and want to grow old together. Marrying a rich man involves exactly the same thing. You need to have a common culture, be comfortable communicating, and just plain get along.

Remember, we are pursuing our so-called angel strategy, and in this strategy, we are aiming for a long-term happy marriage with no deceptions or tricks. We are playing by the book here.

So how would you get to know old money? Would you spend all your time learning about the 1941 Cabernet Sauvignon and the 1945 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild so that you can have a conversation about fine wines? At the end of the day, where that leave you? I suppose you could try to set up a wine shop, but really, is that worth it?

On the other hand, what do you need to learn to share a conversation with a self-made rich man or someone from new money? The good part is that you might have a lot in common already, but that’s not enough.

How to marry a rich man: next steps

Next time, we will further refine which kinds of rich men you might want to pursue, and then teach you what you need to know to impress and connect with them. No, it’s not all about looks, either. That’s the good news for everyone out there. The bad news is that it can take a lot of work. Do you have what it takes? You’ll find out!

If you are enjoying this series on how to marry a rich man, let us know what you think in the comments below.

Recommended reading

If you want to find out a bit more about what it’s like to marry and live rich, here is some further reading you may enjoy. For entertainment purposes only!

Interview with the former wife of billionaire Elon Musk

Link: http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a5380/millionaire-starter-wife/

This is a first hand account from Justine Musk, first wife of Elon Musk, about how she considered herself a “starter wife”. It’s an interesting reflection and non-bitter look at her past.

National bestseller Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0345803787/

This bestseller from first time author Kevin Kwan took the American reading public by storm back in the summer of 2014. If you haven’t yet checked out this irreverent and quaintly Asian tale of an ultra-rich family in Singapore, this is a must read. Two sequel novels and a movie are in the works, but we think the original novel that started the craze was the best piece.