How to marry a rich man, part 3 (angel edition)

If you just found this article, be sure to first read part 1 and part 2 of this series on how to marry a rich man. We previously covered which types of single rich men to look out for, and then covered the basics of developing physical attraction. In part 3, we will look at how to develop what we call social and intellectual attraction.

How to marry a rich man: improving yourself

While other women’s magazines may give you tips on how to snag a wealthy husband, we don’t think it is possible to trick or toy a man into marrying you. In general, we don’t think manipulating others is very effective.

The only person you really have control over is yourself. If you want to marry a rich man, you’ll have to become someone so awesome that rich men want to marry you. That’s our strategy for you. We also feel that this is a more positive approach for both you and the men out there.

We covered some ideas for physical attraction, including improving your style and physical appearance. Now, we need to look at even more difficult, but more important aspects of attraction.

Social attraction: confidence and grace

In order to marry a wealthy man, you will need to do more than simply catch his eye. You will have to become his trusted friend. You need to give him reasons to enjoy your company.

There are many pretty faces out there, but few rich men actually want to marry a bimbo and have her raise his children. For a woman to become his partner, you must become his equal at two levels, socially and intellectually. Let’s look at the social aspect first.

Even if the man has much more money than you, or has fancier degrees, or is seemingly out of your league, you need to approach him on an equal footing. That means, ultimately, you need confidence in yourself. Confidence is attractive, and a lack of confidence spells is a turn-off for both genders.

In addition, your future husband needs to be comfortable introducing you to his family and friends. If a wealthy man brings a lady into his social circle who has nothing but good looks, he could be embarrassed. That’s the type of lady a rich man might keep as a mistress, not bring home to his parents. You need the manners and social grace to assure him that you are the right one to be a part of his life.

How to be a confident woman

Much like physical attraction, social attraction is something that practically any woman can achieve with some work. You don’t magically achieve confidence by telling yourself some secret words or reading a book once. You gain confidence through practice.

Confidence is entirely social. That is, you appear confident or not confident in front of people. When you are by yourself, are you ever unconfident? When you wake up first thing in the morning all disheveled, do you feel bad about your looks?

If you need to boost your confidence and self-esteem, what you need to do is practice being confident in front of other people. You don’t need silly mental games or writing down lists of why you like yourself. There are a couple of ways we suggest to practice and develop confidence.

1. Get a customer-facing job

Try working in retail, as a waitress, or door-to-door saleswoman for a while in some capacity that requires you to work with people daily. Even something like working the cash register at a McDonald’s is incredibly useful for getting comfortable talking to new people all day. You’ll have to deal with a wide variety of people from all walks of life.

You cannot possibly stay shy and quiet-spoken while surviving in such a job. Give it a shot.

2. Join a local Toastmasters Club or other groups

Toastmasters International is a global organization that holds clubs in most major cities. The purpose of the clubs is to practice public speaking and leadership skills. You practice giving mini-speeches in front of like-minded individuals, as well as practice things such as emceeing a meeting or introducing guest speakers.

The cost is about $50 every 6 months, but well worth it if you can afford that amount. Visit their website at https://www.toastmasters.org/ for more information.

There may be local public speaking clubs or entrepreneur clubs in your area that can help you become more confident. Meetup.com is another potential avenue to find opportunities to practice meeting new people and developing your confidence. The advantage of the Toastmasters organization is that there is standard material and trained staff to guide you through each session. You get a similar quality of experience wherever you go. On the other hand, free meetups can vary quite a bit but at least they are free.

3. Volunteer to help the less fortunate

Find a volunteer position that works directly with people. For example, join the Boys and Girls Club to work with underprivileged children. Or you could volunteer to work with senior citizens in a nursing home.

Working with younger children can help build your confidence since little kids aren’t really scary. You will be more free to be yourself, which is really what confidence is about.

You’ll also get a big boost to your self-esteem in knowing that you are doing something valuable with your time. And by the way, going back to the lessons on how to marry a rich man, volunteering makes you look good. While rich women are going to their fancy charity parties, you are rolling up your sleeves and actually connecting with the less fortunate. A self-made rich man can usually appreciate the difference quite well.

How to be a graceful woman

If you’ve gotten the confidence part down, it’s time to work on being graceful. Being graceful is both about what you say as well as how you act. We talked about being classy with regards to style and physical appearances. Being graceful is beyond that. It is exuding class with how you behave.

Being graceful also includes being considerate of others, never showing your temper in public, and being polite at all times. You don’t need to take expensive classes on how to behave like royalty to be graceful. Most women already know what it looks like. If you see someone on a reality TV show and compare with coverage of a red carpet event on TV, you can tell who is graceful and who is not. It’s just about applying the same judgements to yourself and practicing. Learning how to marry a rich man isn’t going to be easy!

1. Brush up on manners and etiquette

While you should already know the basics, make sure you aren’t missing obvious things because of culture or just how you were raised. Most women won’t have too many problems with manners, though.

Etiquette is related to manners but different. Here, it is worth spending a little more time, especially for younger women who have spent less time in professional situations.

For a good start, check out these two free talks given at Dartmouth College by Anna Post from the Emily Post Institute. If you haven’t heard the name before, Emily Post (Wikipedia link) was American’s number one expert on manners and etiquette for most of the 1900s. Anna Post is her great-grandaughter.

Video 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWN1A2UiDjg

Video 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEV44sbAGOQ

2. Master polite small talk

Some women are already masters of small talk with strangers. Others are terrified by it. The art of making small talk requires practice, so you’ll to find situations to do so. The recommendations above for gaining confidence, like volunteering or working with customers, is an excellent way to practice small talk.

Good small talk goes beyond obvious things like avoiding gossip or sensitive topics. The Bible on this topic is the classic How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (Amazon link). Eveyone should read this book once. Companies literally pay thousands of dollars to send employees on seminars to study the book. You can read it for less than $10.

3. Watch and critique yourself without a mirror

Being graceful is not just about what you say, but how you convey yourself physically. Things like posture and body language can speak louder than words. Do your actions say that you are sloppy and careless, or smart energetic individual?

How you deliver words is also important, such as whether you speak clearly or make good eye contact. This is all part of the complete package.

A woman’s best friend for working on how she looks is a mirror. You can practice smiling, twirling your hair, sucking in your tummy, or whatever you fancy in the privacy of your room. What we want to tell you, though, is that the mirror is a lie.

When you see yourself in a mirror, you act differently. You always stand up a little taller, brush your hair straight and so on. It’s almost reflexive for many people, including guys. In other words, you don’t act naturally in front of a mirror, because you have a constant reminder of what you look like.

Instead, you need to watch yourself without watching yourself. Sounds confusing? It’s pretty easy these days. All you need is a phone camera and a stand. Most women already have the phone camera. If you don’t have a stand already, you can pick one up a decent one for a few dollars at the mall or online. Just look for a cheap but highly rated one on Amazon, like this one (Amazon link).

It’s important to video yourself without watching. That means you can study at your desk for 30 minutes and record a video from the side. Practice giving a talk with no mirror and just the video recording. Even better, find a friend willing to chat with you while you record both of you.

Now, go back and review the footage. Remember we talked about before how it is easy for most women to judge other women as classy or not. Is what you see classy and graceful? Do you see anything that could be improved? Too much slouching? Tapping a foot needlessly? Any ungraceful mannerisms you notice for the first time?

What you see is what other people see. So try to fix what you can. Also, remember that your single rich man could be watching you during the most innocuous times. Maybe you are pouring yourself a drink from the punch bowl at a party. Seems kind of boring, right? Your man might have your eye on you. So practice looking at everything you do and work on being graceful. Celebrities who are always in the limelight already do this. That’s why they look so elegant and at ease all the time. They have practiced.

How to marry a rich man: intellectual attraction

We’ve now covered two of the main elements of attraction: physical and social attraction. Our last topic is intellectual attraction. Once you master all three, you will have a complete approach on how to marry a rich man.

How do you attract a rich man intellectually? You could earn a PhD, and some men might be impressed, but the sad truth is that other men will actually be intimidated by smarter women. Everyone also his own interests. A programmer is going to have different intellectual interests from a business owner. So what do all rich men care about intellectually? The answer is obvious. Money.

To attract a rich man intellectually, you need to learn to display financial intelligence. This does not mean talking about money a lot. Of course everyone loves money. Everyone also loves spending money. What you need to do is learn how to be responsible with money and how to make money grow. These are the kinds of financial knowledge that will bring respect, particularly from a self-made rich man.

If you want to know how to marry a rich man, keep in mind you want to convince him that you are an ideal lifelong partner and co-manager of his household. This includes helping to manage finances. Do you think a high-maintenance woman who is always looking to spend money, or a frugal and investment-minded lady is more attractive for marriage? This doesn’t mean you have to be a miser, but you need to develop and display financial intelligence.

Developing financial intelligence

Do you have a budget? Are you saving money or wracking up high credit card debts? Getting your personal finances under control is the first baby step towards financial intelligence. Unfortunately, many people struggle with just this starting point.

An excellent free community resource for getting your personal finances in order is the personalfinance subreddit. Their introduction page is here.

Just having an understanding of a Traditional versus Roth IRA puts you a step ahead of the competition, but that’s hardly enough to impress wealthy men. You need to develop a mindset for investing and making money.

We mentioned before that you would require more willpower and brainpower. There’s a lot of work to do, and a lot of learning. If you have the desire, we will introduce a suggested curriculum to introduce you to the world of money. Do you think marrying a rich man is easier or harder than passing a history test in college? Don’t you expect that you would have to put in actual hours of real work? If it’s hard work for you, cheer up. That means there are thousands of other women who will give up and no longer be competition for you.

A suggested home-study course on finances and wealth

Here’s a suggested reading curriculum to get you started. You can find many of these popular books at the library or a used book shop as well as purchasing them online.

1. Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Rich Dad, Poor Dad (Amazon link) is a bestseller by Robert Kiyosaki that teaches the mindset of how rich men think. This entertaining read teaches you how to think differently about money.

Don’t read any other books in the series, only this first one. Kiyosaki gets criticized sometimes because he focuses on marketing himself too much and doesn’t necessarily offer concrete details. However, we think one “cheerleader” book such as this one is very useful as an introduction to some of the ideas about money. Learn the basic concepts from Kiyosaki and then move on to meatier subjects. This is really just an appetizer.

2. The Little Book of Common Sense Investing

The Little Book of Common Sense Investing (Amazon link) by John Bogle is a classic among investors. Bogle popularized the use of low-cost index funds rather than speculative individual stock picking. For retail investors, Bogle’s methods are probably the safest and most effective way to grow stock investments. Billionaire investor Warren Buffet also endorses this book.

Investing in stocks is one of the most basic ways to turn money into more money. You can bet that anyone with cash will be looking for ways to invest intelligently. Even someone with moderate savings can learn to starting investing. How many women do you know that invest in stocks? A rich man will definitely appreciate sensible a woman who understands how to invest sensibly.

A word of warning: Some men are terrible investors and make emotional choices chasing the latest hot stock. Bringing up investing with them is not a wise idea. Such a man is not likely to hold onto his money for very long, and you may be better off looking elsewhere. You want to marry a rich man who will stay rich, right? That means finding  a partner who is also financially intelligent.

3. The Book on Rental Property Investing

Other than stocks, rental properties are the other most popular form of investing. What surprises many people is that ordinary men and women can invest in rental properties to earn income. You don’t need to be a millionaire already.

The Book on Rental Property Investing (Amazon link) by Brandon Turner covers the basics of how you can approach the rental property business. You’d be surprised how many schoolteachers, engineers, and other regular people serious about money have a rental property on the side.

Whether rental property is right for you depends on your location and finances, but understanding the opportunities and planning for them is something everyone can do. Rental properties is also one of the most frequent paths to becoming wealthy from ordinary means.

Developing intellectual skills

Understanding how to manage and create wealth will obviously be a huge asset when looking for a rich man to marry. However, that’s not necessarily enough. It’s a pretty one-dimensional intellect that focuses only on money.

Many rich men have a passion that brought them to where they are. Billionaire tech moguls like Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg were passionate about computers and the internet, not about money. Billionaire Elon Musk is passionate about renewable energy and sending humanity to Mars. On a smaller scale, a flower shop owner may be passionate about flowers and a software engineering may be passionate about coding.

Imagine what happens when a single rich man asks about your hobbies or interests. Say you tell him that you enjoy painting your nails and trying out new hairstyles. Do you think this will impress or attract him?

Now imagine you tell him that you are taking online courses in your spare time to learn programming or that you are working on setting up an internet business as a side hobby. This demonstrates motivation and an active mind. Which scenario do you think will a rich man prefer in a future wife?

In part 2, we discussed targeting three kinds of rich men involved in technology, sales, or management. If you are looking for an intellectual avenue to develop, consider a topic that is compatible with these areas.

Lifelong learning with online courses

A great way to demonstrate how serious you are about learning is to sign up for online courses. There are many free versions of courses offered at sites such as Udacity, Udemy, and Coursera. Many of the more in-depth courses require payment, but the costs can be quite low, such as $20-50 for a Udemy class.

You can also find many youtube videos or other tutorials online. The benefit of using a structured program, though, is that you get the quality control in the content, and you often get to interact with the instructors via email or messages. This type of feedback is invaluable.

For ideas on what to learn, consider these following courses from Udemy:

Python Tutorial for Absolute Beginners (Udemy price = $20)

How to Create a WordPress Website from Scratch – No Coding (Udemy price = $20)

Make Money with Simple Youtube Videos (Udemy price = $20)

All of these courses cost just $20 and deal with a topic that is relevant for the kind of rich men you want to meet. If you want to go the technology route, it wouldn’t hurt to know something about programming. Try the Python programming tutorial if you’ve never programmed before. Learning to create your own website or learning how to make money from youtube videos also fit in with sales and business managers. They both involve learning to create, manage, and sell your own mini-business.

We’re burying this nugget here for those of you who are reading carefully. Do you know what really impresses a self-made rich man? It’s meeting a woman who is a creator, not a a consumer. Plenty of women browse youtube videos all day. How many actually create youtube videos? Plenty of women use online businesses. How many create them?

Many women pursue fashion as a hobby. This is not a creation hobby, this is a consumer hobby. So what if you buy lots of clothes? Anyone can do that. Creating a business that sells clothes is another matter entirely.

How to marry a rich man: total attraction

We’ve covered the three main areas of physical, social, and intellectual attraction to garner lust, friendship, and respect. Together, these give you great odds for leading to love and marriage.

Nothing is predictable in romance, so what we’re really trying to do is just give you the best odds of success. As you can see, we focused more about you than him, because you are the only person you have control over. Ideally, the best way to marry a rich man is to be someone that he wants, and we believe you can achieve that with hard work and dedication.

As we said when starting out this series, we think the journey is as important as the goal. If you go on this path we’ve laid out, we think you will enjoy the results regardless of whether you succeed or not in snagging a wealthy husband. Imagine, instead, that you had spent all your time reading Cosmopolitan articles on tips for flirting with rich men and spending all your time in seedy bars feeling like a tramp. Is that really worth it?

Good luck! You now know how to marry a rich man, at least in principle!

Addendum: how to find rich men

We didn’t cover how to meet rich men because we don’t think it is particularly challenging. Identifying rich men is the hard part. If you want our advice, though, just move to any large city with technology or growth, such as San Francisco, Boston, Austin, or New York. Be active and go to social events and gatherings where you get to meet people with a purpose. Don’t just go bar hopping. Keep being active so you meet more and more people. You can give online dating a chance, but move fast and don’t get stuck on hopeless dead ends.

 

Recommended reading

Good Manners for People Who Sometimes Say F*ck

This book (Amazon link) is a different and twisted look at learning manners for the modern person. It’s a funny and informative read that in the end, teaches you about good manners.

One difference between rich men and rich women

We take a look at marrying rich from another angle. Did you know divorced rich men are much more likely to re-marry than divorced rich women? This might mean something about what rich men and rich women look for in relationships. Read this blog article here.