Self-care at the mall, buy that killer outfit

Self-care at the mall, buy that killer outfit

Self-care is the new buzz word for something moms around the world have been neglecting for years: Themselves.  As moms, we always focus on taking care of others.  We are focused on making nutritious meals, teaching our children the ways of the world and making sure we don’t forget our husbands in the mix.

The one person we tend to forget about is us.  We’ll buy our children the cutest outfits and our husbands the best jeans, and while we might see a killer outfit we would love to have, we rarely think of *gasp* purchasing said outfit for ourselves.

Taking care of you more does not mean taking care of others less

Let’s get one thing straight: taking care of you does not mean you are taking less care of others.  Prioritizing your needs is essential to taking proper care of the people around you.  This includes sleeping well, eating right, and yes, even buying that killer outfit.

I often use the example of an oxygen mask on an airplane.  When the masks deploy, you’re instructed to put yours on first because you can’t help others if you’re struggling to breathe.  The same is true in life.  If you’re struggling to keep yourself together, you’ll never be able to keep it together for everyone else.  That means we need to slow down, take a deep breath, and take care of ourselves.

Speaking of confidence…

One of the things we are always trying to teach our children is to be confident and comfortable with themselves.  Guess what? Having that killer outfit helps.  I feel ten times more confident in an outfit I love than in one I grabbed off the internet because it was cheap (90% of my wardrobe!).

I’m probably my own worst enemy on this one.  I’m the queen of shopping on Amazon for the cheapest clothes I can find; if they don’t fall off, I wear them.  Fashionista I am not.  However, even as a self-proclaimed cheapskate, I never feel as confident in those outfits as I do in the ones I got to try on and fall in love with.

It doesn’t have to be fancy

A few weeks ago, I went to a women’s retreat.  This was a small Christian business retreat with about 10 women attending, and somehow they decided that the dress code for the weekend should be yoga pants.

I hear many of you cheering their choice, but the truth is, I was a bit mortified.  I only own one pair of yoga pants, and I rarely wear them in public.

None the less, I dutifully ran off to my local Wal-Mart to find enough yoga pants to get me through the weekend.  I tried on several pairs and managed to come away with 2 more pairs of something like yoga pants.  2+1 = 3, I met my quota.

I slid through Friday in my jeans and boots because it was a travel day.  Come Saturday, I figured I had better stick to the dress code.  I donned those little yoga pants, threw on a cute little t-shirt and crept into the retreat feeling like a big faker.

I was not confident, and it was obvious.

Later in the day we were instructed to change for our professional head shots.  I raced up to my room and put on my “butt” jeans, my cowboy boots and my favorite button up shirt.  “Ahhhh, yes, this I can ROCK” I thought as I sauntered back down the stairs.

Once again, everyone noticed.  One of the other participants stopped me on my way down. With a stunned look on her face she said “wow, you look beautiful.”

The clothes weren’t fancy, they weren’t $500 jeans from Nordstrom’s, but they were clothes I loved and felt super confident in and it showed.

So, if your killer outfit is yoga pants, buy them. If your killer outfit is a beautiful ball gown, buy it and if your killer outfit is a great pair of jeans and a Wrangler button down, buy it.

One word of caution

Now that I have you all excited to run to the mall and find your perfect outfit, there’s one thing that needs to be said. This is not permission to spend the rent money on clothes at the mall.  It is also not an excuse for you to run up thousands of dollars in credit card bills without at least discussing the prospect with your husband.

It is, however, permission to take a minute when you’re running from one store to the other to stop and try on that outfit in the window.  It’s permission to put together a killer outfit, price it out and determine if it’s in your budget.  If it is, GREAT!  If it’s not in your budget today that’s okay. Now you have a goal to work toward.

You are worth it

If you take nothing else away from this post, please remember this: YOU ARE WORTH IT.  If you’re like most women, the clothes you’re considering are not going to break the bank.  In fact, they might not even put a dent in it.

Yet so often as moms, we’re so worried about everyone else that we fear spending on ourselves will make us selfish, awful parents.  Don’t believe the lie.  You are worth it.

About the author

michelle cook

Michele Cook is the author behind Michele’s Finding Happiness, a website dedicated to helping people find their path to happiness.  She is a mom, a wife, a railroad signalman and a freelance writer.  Check out her site to find ways you can add a little more happiness to your life.

Further reading

What’s better than shopping for clothes? How about shopping for chocolates? Check out our recommendations of the best Belgian and Swiss chocolates you can order online. Or maybe pamper yourself with some nice aromatherapy.


  1. sarah says:

    As if I need another excuse to go shopping, haha, thanks for the great article!

  2. girlygirl says:

    Question of the day: is shopping online or in person more satisfying? Online I get sit in my PJs and binge on snacks. In person I get to try on clothes and get a latte. Can’t decide.

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